Order of the Fez

Taisir Yanis (#16) welcomes new members

Drew Barcode: Fez #23

"Greetings fellow fez wearers, I hereby submit my Petition of Worthiness.

My name is Drew Barcode, I am a proud fez wearer, I hope that this allows me the opportunity to plead for my right of passage into the Supreme Order Of The Fez. I own various fezzes, including the recently featured cheese fez (perhaps the only one in circulation in the UK?), and although I have been a fez wearer for only the past year or so, I have fully embraced it, as much as one can embrace the wearing of something on ones head. In the attached picture you can see me sporting my custom made “Christmas fez”, made especially for the upcoming Santacon Santa parade. I hope that by allowing me into your illustrious order I can bring to it honour, style, and sophistication, or failing that, at least another British ukulele player."

Your faithful servant
 
Drew
London
UK

Drew [larger photo] contacted us a few months back, asking if he could wait for Fez #23:

"I have been following your blog for sometime, and the timing of my contacting you is by no coincidence. You see, I believe the number 23 to be a very powerful and magic number (ha!), and I ain't just talking about some cheesy Jim Carey movie. I was hoping to be cheeky and rather like Jason #13, and the future number 42, Joe, snag the coveted number Order Of the Fez #23 for myself. What with your current membership now up to 21, and also what with a few multiple entries having happened recently, I thought now was the time to move from the shadows and make myself known. If this all ok, I shall prepare my submission for entry... (insert joke here)."

His patience has paid off and it is with great pride that we welcome him into the Order of the Fez. Drew has replaced "Royal and Exalted" with "Supreme" but that might just be a Brit thing so we'll let it pass.

Please welcome Drew in the time honored tradition.

Fez the First

Roderick Kennedy: Fez #22

Please rise, turn to the Fez on your left, and give him The Secret Grip, and welcome the newest member of the Order of the Fez.

"I Roderick "Roger" Kennedy do hereby request fair consideration for membership to the Royal and Exalted Order of the Fez.

I have entertained the idea of seeking membership to such a benevolent and protective order for some time.

My first attempt was to join the Shriners. I turned them down once I found out that they were interested in my becoming a traveling clown for use in their circus's. The travel schedule was too much for me to bear, and with the remembrance of finding a clown in an alley as a child and how it scarred me forever, I declined their fair offer.

Next I looked into the Illuminati. They seamed like an alright bunch, but I couldn't find how to get a hold of them.

I thought about the Elks, but I remembered my cross-country adventure with my Godfather and his check writing scheme with the Elks as we sold gold jewelry. (True Story!) So I have X'd them off my list.

So for years I have worn my Fez's in solitude.

At times I will wear a fez while I ride my 1965 baby blue Vespa scooter. How nice my scooter would look with a sticker of the order on it.

The attached photo shows my comfort with the fez in public. Our church was holding it's semi-annual "Princess Party" where all the young ladies of the church and their mothers had a sleepover. My wife became ill at the last minute, (Strange how that happens?) and I volunteered to take her in my wife's place as my darling four year old daughter was so looking forward to the event. She went as a Snow Princess and I as her escort and Princess Security. In the photo I can be seen painting my daughters fingernails. A great time was had by all.

I have two fine Fez's, both purchased on eBay. My first Fez was a gorgeous Shriners' fez from the temple of Mahi in Florida. I purchased it from the son of a deceased Shriner. What brought me to this fine specimen was it's fine jeweled appearance and the fact that the deceased Shriner was the head of the Mini-Indi precision miniature car team. This specific fez was worn for miniature car events and in beautiful colored baubles it reads "MINI-INDI". Once it arrived, and I was admiring the long fixed tassel, my dear wife was on the phone wanting to know where to go for co-dependant haberdashery counseling. She always knew I was different with going to Tiny Tim's funeral (Quite true!) and the like. She chocked it up to one of my many oddities I neglected to inform her about prior to our vows.

My second Fez is from Dramatic Order Knights of Khorassan. It is a sub organization of  the Pythians a link to their site can be found here . It is a smaller Fez and fits my noggin quite well. The tassel reaches just below the bottom and unlike my Shriner fez the tassel is not fixed to the side of the fez so I real can swing that baby around. This is the fez shown in the attached photo.

If requested, I am willing to submit a small scrap of skin from the back of my neck for DNA testing to validate my identity.

As a testament of my sincerity to the succor the fez provides me, I could take a bullet for my fellow brothers if needed.

In conclusion, I say I didn't get where I am today by not knowing when and when not to join a secret society. Let's send my application up the flagpole and see if the squirrel salutes!

Respectfully awaiting your response.

Audaces fortuna iuvat !"

It would be a lot to expect of one petitioning for membership, but I would have been even more impressed had the photo shown the girls painting Roderick's toenails. A memory sure to scar the kids for a lifetime..

Separated at birth

Many of you, brothers, know the tragic circumstances tied to my possession of Fez #4. I took ownership of said fez after a tragic fruit stand accident involving its previous owner, a charming but self-deprecating macaque named Ahmed. 

Through my obtainment of Ahmed's fez, I have, quite serendipitously, formed friendships with many of his family throughout the world. One of my favorites is cousin Karim, a chimpanzee from Istanbul who never fails to cheer me with his witty correspondence. On my recent birthday, Walter sent me this photograph, pledging his cross-species brotherhood with me, and with the entire Order of the Fez. (He also, as is his habit, included other photographs which shall remain tightly in my possession, for legal reasons.)

I thought it appropriate to share this photo of Karim, in honor of our fallen fellow-fez wearer, Ahmed.

-- Brother Brazeal (the one on the left)