Order of the Fez

Proof of Life

This is what I had in mind when I asked members to provide "proof of life." Fez #2 looks very life-like, don't you think?

Fez # 6 checked in with political rant that included Sarah Palin in pig-tails and short, tartan school-girl skirt.

And this over-caffeinated ping from Fez # 14 "Being from the center of Missouri, I am fortunate enough to be able to potentate with the Fizbang Forbe of Fezatude for coffee on Saturday mornings."

Fez #10: "I am very much alive and currently deeply submerged in work for various clients including microwaveable paninis, coach holidays and wine.  Here is me a couple of moments ago with Louis Armstrong in the background reading yesterday’s paper (much the same news as in the US without the baseball to cheer us up!). I am wearing my Harrow School fez because large portions of the rest of my collection have gone missing since the last SOUP gig (including my lovely new OOTF fez )

Fez #15 provided no explanation with this photo. Which is unfortunate, since it raises so many questions. Who took this photo? How did they explain the shoot to anyone that might have walked in while it was underway? What are the sanitary implications of wearing your fez while taking a dump? Is this fez worn only for this purpose? I fear (hope) we'll never know the answers to these troubling questions. [Larger photo for you sick bastards]

Fex #3: "My sister-in-law has a horse who is very leery of me, and of needles in general. He needs a blood test. She asked if I could dispense a tranquilizer for her to give ahead of time, and could I possibly come in disguise.

While, for those of in the know, wearing the fez actually reveals our true inner fezorocity (a revelation rather than a concealment), perhaps the horse would be fooled by this ruse. The noble head-gear may be just the thing to put him off guard, particularly if his wits are fuddled by a bit of detomidine hydrochloride.

That is how I happened to have my precious fez in the workplace. Normally I would keep it far from this epicenter of flying fluids. So, with camera, tripod, fez and computer all in one location, it seemed the perfect time to provide you with the proof of life requested by the OOTF."

Dr. Mobley is far to modest to mention in his POL (Proof of Life), but members should know that he has invested countless hours in the Fez Genome Project. This little known --and little appreciated research-- seeks to find, isolate and clone the fez gene. God speed, Dr. Mobley.

Twittering Fezzers

"What are you doing now?" That's really what Twitter is about. More to the point, "What are your friends doing now?" And for the purpose of this post, "What are members of the Order of the Fez doing now?"

Several of our members are sharing that information with the Twitterverse (little vomit in the back of my throat). If you are using this social networking tool, let us know.

• Taisir Yanis #16
• George Kopp #14
• Jason Rogers #13
• Jamie Nelson #7
• David Brazeal #4
• smays.com #1

Presentation of the Fez Ceremony

A delegation from the Head Gear Committee of The Order of the Fez presented Taisir Yanis (#16) with a custom Fez-O-Rama fez in honor of the fifth anniversary of the Jefferson City Coffee Zone. Fez 1 and 16 celebrated the moment with a brief but enthusiastic Rockettes routine that left Coffee Zone regular Lars Feinbody with a painful but non-fatal groin injury.

Cheese Fez

Place your index finger in your mouth, with the tip pressed firmly against either cheek. Now, push your finger OUT of your mouth, creating a popping sound. THAT is the sound of Fez #2 removing this foam rubber faux cheese fez. Sharing this photo is an example of fezorocity.

Wired: Virtual Masonic Fezzes of the Metaverse

Doctor Dick (Fez #18) points us to this intriguing post on one of the Wired blogs:

"It's the latest craze to hit SecondLife: the virtual Masonic fez. Worn by gorgeous babes like Isis Eagle over here on the right, the fez has become something of a lust object among the fetish-hungry masses on SL who have grown tired of dragon furry sex and polygon perversion. What is it that makes the Masonic fez so hot? Apparently it's something to do with the idea of sex occuring in a mystical fraternal order connected with the origins of our glorious nation, the United States of America. Of course, these virtual Masonic fezzes are worn by ladies, so there's a bit of revisionist history here: Ladies can't be Masons in the real world, nor are they among our nation's founders. But just imagine how much cooler the old US of A would be if hot virtual girls had formed the Freemasons and founded the country? I'll bet Warren Ellis can get behind that. Fez-lovers take note: www.hotmasons.com is still available!"

Cheese fez on crackers. Yum!

Fez the Second, Bob Hague, points us to this delightful little number. Bob lives in Madison, Wisconsin, where those dopey cheese wedge hats come from. So this foam rubber (?) fez has that swiss cheese look.

It would seem to have the added benefit of a place to emergency puke (is there any other kind?). Just rinse it out and pop it back on your noggin.

Professor Peter & Doctor Dick: Fez #17 & #18

"We, Professor Peter [photo] and Doctor Dick [photo] (Members of the Small Instrument Society) would like to join the Order Of The Fez. It was your honorable member Howlin Hobbit #8, who brought the OOTF to our attention. And right he was!

We wear the Fez on special occasions only. For wearing a Fez should not be taken lightheartedly. It is while singing songs about Sfynxes, Girls on the Banks of the Nile, Egyptian Moons and Erotically overacting Sheiks that we feel the Fez comes into place. Sitting on our Flying Carpet (the second one, as the first one flew away recently) we sing about Egyptian Ella [video] and the Sheik of Araby. And once in a while our tassels rotate in time with the music. Important to say that our beloved headwear is handmade by Doctor Dick himself.

Hoping the Brotherhood of the Fez is willing to accept our humble applications we promise to mention all the OOTF's importance for humanity in our next edition of The Daily Ukulele."

Professor Peter and Doctor Dick
Members of the Small Instrument Society
info@kleinleed.nl
www.kleinleed.nl

Their names alone would qualify them for membership but these guys make their own fezzes and have a magic-fucking-carpet! I'm off to see if I can find some of their music. Perhaps we can get them to perform the OOTF Offical Anthem. And for those wondering where they got their magic carpet...