Tom Boman, Fez #15

From Tom Boman's Petition of Worthiness:

"It is with great personal pleasure I request membership in your sacred organization. As I write this, the haunting sounds of Steely Dan’s “The Fez” is floating from my speakers (cut 5 from the album The Royal Scam).

I have always felt the need to “check off” certain things from my Life List. Being a member of a secret, underground, don’t-call-us-we’ll-call-you, what are you lookin’ at, happy go lucky group of like-minded individuals who all believe different things is on the list.

If allowed to be a Fez wearing member of this fraternity, I pledge to uphold all the rules and pageantry it deserves. Unless, of course, not upholding all the rules and pageantry is the direction you’d rather go. I look forward to your decision.

PS: Does tassel length factor into the decision?"

"Sacred organization?" Perhaps Tom thinks he is applying for the priesthood, where they don't wear cool hats until you reach the very top of the organization.

His reference to "this fraternity" hints at rush week keggers with drunken co-eds "soul kissing" for their My Space photo page. Sorry, Tom. OOTF is hardly a fraternity.

Not only does Tom have the requisite fez, he looks damned good in it. If we ever have an OOTF harem, I think Tom would make a damn fine eunuch.

As for tassel length, I'm not even sure a tassel is required. But in the OOTF, size does not matter.

Close observers will note that Tom opted for the ears-tucked-inside-the-fez style, something we have not seen before. And did anyone count the number of times Tom stroked his tassel? I lost track.

Shall we all give our newest member some comment love?

PS: Tom is Director of Operations for Learfield Sports and works in the same building with smays (#1) and lives in Columbia, MO.

Comments

[Howlin' Hobbit]

Welcome, Brother Tom!

At 15 members we're past "more than a coven" and right into "a complete jury with alternates."

Progress! Soon we'll be enough for a cabal and directly after that sufficient for a cadre.

World domination is not too far. But quietly. Behind the scenes. The invisible fez, rather than hand.

(And woah, Steve! You typoed in your email announcement -- or at least its subject line -- causing me nearly ten minutes of confusion. "Weren't we alrady at 14?" I groggily wondered. Luckily I'm all used to confusion and stuff.)

[Bob (Fez #2)]

Welcome Tom

There are no rules (as yet) for the OOTF, although the idea of pageantry sounds might appealing. Tassel length is of no concern -- mine is adjustable (my tassel, that is).

Where are you located?

[Doc]

Somehow, I can't help feeling that it is below the pinnacle of hospitality to suggest that someone has a brilliant future as an eunuch.

Let me say that any friend of the fez is a friend of ours, and welcome.

[Jamie (Fez #7)]

Yo! Welcome to our ranks, brother Tom!

Onward!

[George (Fez#14)]

I am so pleased to have a new member. Being the newest member I have been having to wash #1's car, walk his dogs, and open his beer. Glad to pass that on the new newest member.

[Edward]

Welcome!