Order of the Fez

All they need are a couple of fezzes

Since a few of our members are uke players, I thought I'd post this just for them.

Speaking of songs, whatever came of the Order of the Fez song/anthem? Brother Phil wrote the lyrics but we never set them to music. We have several musicians on the order, I'd like to think one or more could record this for us. You know who you are.

And for newer members, here's the Secret Grip you've been asking about. The only other suggestion was something called the Reach Around and we never got a photo of that, so...

OOTF TV

The Mid-Missouri Chapter of the Order of the Fez is planning to hold our first meeting next Saturday and --if everything comes together-- we'll webcast live from the Coffee Zone in Jefferson City. You'll find an embedded player here and we hope to be live from 9:30 a.m. till 10:00 a.m. Central Time.

If you'd like to participate, we'll have chat activated. To participate, you'll need to set up an account at uStream. Once we're live, click the little chat balloon in the bottom right corner of the player.

We have several members who live close enough to join us: Our two newest members, Tom Boman and George Kopp; and John Wells. Fezzes will be required.

I know the timing sucks for some of you. Brothers Nelson and Hobbit will still be deep in REM sleep and our UK fezzers will be down the local pub, hoisting a pint (God, but I love the way they talk! We can't we get more audio email from the lads?)

We'll talk a little about the Order... maybe read the blog postings for each member and answer questions from the customers here at the Coffee Zone ("No, we will NOT shut the fuck up!")

Tom Boman, Fez #15

From Tom Boman's Petition of Worthiness:

"It is with great personal pleasure I request membership in your sacred organization. As I write this, the haunting sounds of Steely Dan’s “The Fez” is floating from my speakers (cut 5 from the album The Royal Scam).

I have always felt the need to “check off” certain things from my Life List. Being a member of a secret, underground, don’t-call-us-we’ll-call-you, what are you lookin’ at, happy go lucky group of like-minded individuals who all believe different things is on the list.

If allowed to be a Fez wearing member of this fraternity, I pledge to uphold all the rules and pageantry it deserves. Unless, of course, not upholding all the rules and pageantry is the direction you’d rather go. I look forward to your decision.

PS: Does tassel length factor into the decision?"

"Sacred organization?" Perhaps Tom thinks he is applying for the priesthood, where they don't wear cool hats until you reach the very top of the organization.

His reference to "this fraternity" hints at rush week keggers with drunken co-eds "soul kissing" for their My Space photo page. Sorry, Tom. OOTF is hardly a fraternity.

Not only does Tom have the requisite fez, he looks damned good in it. If we ever have an OOTF harem, I think Tom would make a damn fine eunuch.

As for tassel length, I'm not even sure a tassel is required. But in the OOTF, size does not matter.

Close observers will note that Tom opted for the ears-tucked-inside-the-fez style, something we have not seen before. And did anyone count the number of times Tom stroked his tassel? I lost track.

Shall we all give our newest member some comment love?

PS: Tom is Director of Operations for Learfield Sports and works in the same building with smays (#1) and lives in Columbia, MO.

"I'm going to shite in my fez and make it disappear."

Tommy Cooper is a famous British magician. And he wore a fez. Way before being British and wearing a fez was cool.

"He made an art form of getting magic tricks wrong. However, despite his purported inability to perform conjuring tricks, he was in reality an accomplished magician and member of The Magic Circle. Famed for his red fez, his appearance was large and lumbering at 6ft 3ins." Here's the rest of his Wikipedia entry.

I don't know diddly about Tommy Cooper but trust that Brother Phil (#9) and Brother James (#10) can enlighten us (they being fez-wearing Brits, too).

Anthony Hopkins (Is it Sir Anthony?) was on hand for a recent ceremony in Tommy's home town and AH can wear the living shite out of a fez! [Thanks, Brother Bob, aka Fez #2]

Shriners in Panzer tanks

Thanks to Brother Bob (#2) for pointing us to this chilling example of fez fashion. These guys are Moslem Croat soldiers.

The SS insignia on the fez and collar patches feature a hand grasping a Turkish scimitar (with the inscription: "Resist and We Will Cut Off Your Moolah!")

During the annual Fall Festival Parade, they drive tiny Panzar tanks that shoot candy from the turret cannon.

BTW... how long has it been since YOU contributed to OrderoftheFez.com? Hmm?

OOTF Temple nearly complete

We put the final touches on the new Temple of the Order of the Fez (TOOF) today. In as much as we don't have dues or a building fund, we did a make-over on an empty Butler Building south of town. We'll try to post some interior photos in coming days.

Is this man wearing a fez?

This still is from the 1932 film classic, Tarzan the Ape Man. The actor getting squished by the giant ape was not credited as far as I can tell. The only lines he had were, "Paysay! Paysay!" and "Aaaaiiieeeee!" His last as it turned out.

The headgear does seem to have the shape of a fez but then, that could have been the result of getting ape-handled. A couple of times I was sure I saw a tassel but couldn't find a still that showed it. I pulled a three minute clip from the film that you might enjoy.

Twittering Fezzers

I hesitate bringing this up because the OOTF is not about the "hot new thing" on the web. But I have recently gotten addicted to Twitter. If you know what it is you don't need an explanation. If you don't... I can't explain it. But this short video does a pretty good job.

Truly, this is one of those things you have to experience to get. And it's difficult to experience until some of your friends are using the tool. And several members of our order are: David Brazeal, Jamie Nelson, George Kopp (newest member) and me.

If any other members are tweeting, let me know. It's an easy way to keep up with what what your fellow fezzers are up to.

George Kopp, Fez #14

"To the potentate, officers, and nobles of the Order of the Fez:

I hereby declare my request for membership in the Order of the Fez.  I have long wanted to be a member of an organization with such noble causes, strong works, and dedicated leadership.  I realize that becoming a member brings with it a serious dedication to those principles that the organization holds so dear.

If found to be worthy, I hereby acknowledge that I will wear proudly the symbol of membership and conform to all the bylaws, and directions hereby declared through it's membership.

I would appreciate due diligence to this application such that I may be able to obtain an official member number in order to order a 'Order of the Fez' Fez.

Submitted with all the feeling and respect worthy of the order.

George Kopp

Mr. Kopp has obviously confused the Order of the Fez with the Kiwanis or Jaycees or some similar civic club but let's not tell him until we get his first dues check. Welcome Brother Kopp.

OOTF too lazy to be a cult

A comic strip called Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley seems to have captured the spirit of The Order of the Fez. I'm not sure I quite get the strip (first time I've seen it) but then I'm not sure I get the OOTF, so...

Here's a link to the full strip. [Thanks, Matthew]